


Jared Is Not 21

by nobodynose



Series: Kleinsen Oneshots [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Drinking, Drunken Confessions, I WROTE THIS WHEN I WAS 13 AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT VODKA SO SORRY IF IT'S INACCURATE, M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25737946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobodynose/pseuds/nobodynose
Summary: Evan just wanted to apologize to Jared. He didn't expect Jared to get... drunk.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman
Series: Kleinsen Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867774
Kudos: 20





	Jared Is Not 21

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on wattpad under @NobodyNose27
> 
> \--
> 
> Original note:   
> Don't drink, kids. And if you do, don't tell your parents i encouraged underage drinking.
> 
> also im like 13 so hopefully i know how alcohol works but /shrug

**POV** **: Evan**

I stood anxiously outside Jared's house. My mom insisted that I come over to make up with Jared, after the whole Connor Project thing. I don't know why she's so insistent on it, it's not like he's gonna actually forgive me. Hell, I haven't even forgiven myself yet. I don't think I ever will.

It's been a month or so since... everything. The Connor Project, the lies, the arguments... For the most part, I've made up with everyone. My mom, being supportive like she is, forgave me before I even apologized. Alana... I told her everything, way more than I told my mom. I don't know, it just all poured out. When I was done, Alana just put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Next time, just email your therapist the letter." before giving me a sincere smile and walking away.

Zoe... She hasn't told me directly, but I can tell she's forgiven me. She smiles at me in the hallway and motions me to come sit with her and her friends at lunch. Of course, I ignore it and eat at my table by myself, anyway. I don't wanna make her life more miserable.

As for the 40,322 people who follow the Connor Project, I posted a video for them. I didn't tell them exactly what happened, but I gave them a hefty apology in hope they'd forgive my for dropping out. Most of them were understanding, but of course I still got a couple "What a dick move"s here and there. It's been a month since then, though, most people have given up trying to come through to me.

Jared, though... I couldn't bring myself to talk to Jared. Just by the way he walked past be the couple days following the betrayal, it seemed he was more affected than anyone else. And I understand! I basically used him as a way to get popular. He got no recognition or even a "thank you."

And, if I was honest, I miss Jared. Which is weird, since all he did was make a laughing stock out of me. I knew he didn't really mean some of the things he said, though they still hurt me. Being away from him for so long kinda made me realize what it's _really_ like to have no friends. It sucks.

I feel like I mentally need him to process, you know? Like, drugs or something. If you're addicted to drugs, it'll be hard to think clearly when you stop doing them. I feel like a similar thing is happening with Jared and I. My stutter has been a whole lot worse now that Jared isn't there to make fun of it, and my grades have dropped since Jared hasn't been there to point out the more obvious answers.

Wait, am I addicted to Jared?

"Is he just gonna stand there or is he gonna knock?" I heard a familiar voice say rather quietly. I look up and see Jared, with his head in his hand and his elbow propped on the windowsill. His eyes widened with surprise when he saw me, and he walked away from the window. He obviously didn't except me to hear him.

I was just about to knock on the door when it flung open. Jared stood there, one hand on the doorknob and the other by his side. He looked as normal as ever, ignoring the fact that he looked pissed as ever, also.

"Oh look," He said loudly, with faux happiness, "The asshole returns!"

"I'm sorry Jared." I blurted, looking him in the eye. His face immediately softened, as if all he needed to hear were those words. "I've been a huge dick, and all I did was ruin your senior year. I didn't mean to, but I did nonetheless, and..." I felt a tear roll down my cheek, "I'm sorry for that..."

Jared didn't say anything, but stepped aside and gestured me to come in. I haven't been in Jared's house in a while, but seeing it again brought back memories. I remember we used to sit on that same black leather couch and fall asleep watching Spongebob. We've played Uno and Go-Fish at that same white glass coffee table probably over a million times. I looked up and saw the ceiling fan we once almost knocked down with a Nerf gun.

Jared chuckled at my amusement. "Do you want something to eat?" He asked, and I turned to him, slightly surprised.

"N-now?"

He rolled his eyes, "Yes, now! When did you expect me to say? Tomorrow morning?"

I smiled slightly and shook my head.

"Well too bad, because I have those good-ass colored goldfish and you _need_ to have some." He said, leading me into the kitchen, where he almost tripped on a mouse trap.

"You realize they're literary just dyed right?" I asked, following him. For a second, it kinda felt like we were back to before this all began, but surely it had to be only a matter of time until I got a stern talking-to from Jared.

Jared took the goldfish package out of the fridge and shoved a red goldfish in my face.

"Ok...?" I said, taking the goldfish and eating it. "Yep tastes exactly like the golden ones."

Jared shook his head. "Disgrace." He said, still smiling.

"Why are you so... happy?" I asked. It sounded like an insanely stupid question, but I asked it anyway. "I mean... I apologized and in response you give me a goldfish?"

Jared shrugged and walked up the stairs to his room, goldfish still in hand.

We walked into his room and I stopped in my tracks. On his bed were a couple of bottles of vodka. _Vodka._

 _"_ JarEd!" I yelled, voice cracking, "You're not 21! Please don't say you've been drinking this!"

Jared shrugged and sat on the other side of his bed, stuffing down a handful of colorful goldfish. "It tastes good."

"Jared!" I yelled.

" _What_?" He responded, smirking, "I'm _fine_! Have I been acting weirdly? No. It's not like I'm _drunk_."

"It's _illegal_!"

"Aww look at you, getting all defensive." Jared mocked, "You sound like Alana." He grabbed another handful of goldfish and washed it down with a gulp of vodka.

" _Jared!"_ I hissed, "If you insist on drinking it, at least drink it in _shots_! This is like a gateway to drunkness!"

"It taste good, Ev!" Jared said, holding up the open bottle as if asking me for a taste. He's _definitely_ never called me Ev before.

"Uh. No thanks." I said, backing up. Needless to say, I felt extremely uncomfortable in this situation. It wasn't like I was gonna call the police on him, I didn't want to get him arrested! But I definitely wasn't gonna get him drunk either.

He shrugged, "Your loss." He lied down on the bed and did the whole goldfish-wash-down-with-vodka thing.

" _You're going to get drunk_!" I hissed.

"Hey, mayee I wanna get drunk" He said, his voice faltering slightly. I stumbled back a little more, honestly a little frightened of the idea of Jared becoming drunk.

He took another gulp of vodka and washed it down with goldfish.

"I'm... Fine!" Jared said slowly, before I even said anything to him.

"Uh, yeah, no. No you're not."

Jared was about to take another gulp, when suddenly I gained confidence and ran up to him, yanking the bottle out of his hand. I expected him to retaliate, to try to get the bottle back, but he just stared at me... in disbelief? No, I don't think it was disbelief, but he was staring at me, eyes wide and still.

After a moment of the most awkward staring contest ever, Jared spoke, "Can you give it back pwease?" He said, sitting up, "It..." he hiccupped, "tastes good."

"Jared we're gonna sober you up." I said, before realizing I had no idea how to sober up a drunk teenager. "Or.. not."

"I..." hiccup, "don't wanna be sober Evy..." He said, his voice sounding like a sad child.

I looked at him. The tone of his voice broke my heart. I set the vodka bottle down on his desk across his room and turned back to face him. He was looking down at his lap.

"Of course you don't but-"

"Life sober is just... so hard." He said, lying back down on the bed. I sat beside him. Maybe boozing up Jared is the way to get him to talk. Interrogation techniques.

The second I sat down, Jared bolted back up and handed me his bag of goldfish. "Uh thanks..?"

"Noting goes right when I'm-" hiccup, "suber." He continued, his voice still childish and sad. A couple of words slipped out the wrong way too, but I could understand what he was saying. "But rit now... here you *hic* are."

I was completely and utterly confused. "W-what are you talking about?"

He took a handful of goldfish out of the box in my lap and counted them as he spoke. "It's like- *hic* the moment I gt dronk, you speeked to me."

"Is this like... a-about the Connor Project or something?"

"Everything and nohing is about the Connor Project, Evanny." The wisest words from Jared come when he's drunk, of course. Not only that, but these nicknames he was giving me started to make me feel misplaced. Does he know who he's talking to or..?

He turned to me, starting at me. His eyes looked out of focus and it was honestly a little creepy. _This is still Jared..._

"Mayee if am drunk.." Jared said, hiccuping, "Then I can do dis wiout feeling like I focked op."

"Do wha-" I was cut off by Jared grabbing my face and his lips meeting mine. I was now officially confused and shocked. But what could I do about it? _Jared Kleinman was kissing me._

He was drunk. This isn't right. I push him away. "Jared you're drunk." I said simply before mumbling under my breath, "and underage."

Jared shrugged a sloppy shrug. "Mayee I m." He said, before standing up, dusting off his jeans and saying, "Or maybe I am not."

He looked at me and smirked, his cheeks only as red as a tomato. He walked over to his desk and grabbed the bottle of vodka, before sitting back beside me and saying, "No really, have some."

"Jared I'm underag-" I started, but then realized something. Jared's voice was suddenly corrected, he could walk perfectly fine from his desk back, and his eyes weren't fuzzy anymore.

"Shit..." I mumbled under my breath, "Were you..?"

"Playing drunk? Hell yeah. This is water." He said, gesturing to the bottle. "You won't believe how fun it is to manipulate people into thinking you're drunk. Hilarious."

He grabbed a goldfish and tossed it into his mouth while I sat there speechless. "But the- you- _we-_ "

"All staged." He said casually, as if he didn't just play drunk and freaking kiss me.

"You...k-"

"Yeah..." Jared cut me off, his voice suddenly low, "I kissed you."

"Did you...?" I trailed, hoping Jared would understand what I meant.

He stayed silent for a second, going over his options, before speaking. "Mean it? Y-yeah."

I felt my face flush, and before I got a chance to think, my arms were already pulling him in for another kiss. He gasped in surprise before realizing what was happening, and kissing back. I moved my hands to his waist and he put his hands in my hair.

I could get used to this.

Jared backed away after a couple seconds, a flustered mess. He looked at me, obviously still surprised, before deciding to resume the kiss.

"Drunk or not," he said as he pulled away and grabbed my hand, "I really enjoyed that."

" Enjoyed what? " I asked innocently.

He rolled his eyes, "Playing drunk! What else?"

**Author's Note:**

> Uh shoot this was supposed to be better . Eh well, maybe next time.
> 
> Published: 8/8/19
> 
> \--
> 
> yeah.


End file.
